Tell myself everytime when im down .

I'm back , my little diary .

deep breath and start . haha

Just finish my last diploma final in 10 April 2015. 

Start my holiday life like  14 /4/15 Melacca

17/4/15 Penang 

29/4/15 SG 

HELLOOOO~!!

Its been long time ago my last updates. 

Last year's jan .HAHA 1 years ago update lol.

Time flow fast , and now im a diploma year 2 going last semester student . 

Happen many things, miss many things, and over many things. 

Today is first of feb  2015. 

Sem break now and just finish final on 17/1/15 .

IN 2014, i went beijing and melacca only. pity life humphh.

But, i try my best to relax and go out for chilling in cafes. 

and become cafe hunter now lol.

( sorry im like so wasted money lol T.T but this is the way i chill )

kay... lets start the new chapter 20 in 2015.

 2015, just started. and i get a serious cough . haiz...





i will try to learn in 2015.
Many things waiting me to study and learn.
Feel free to update again yea :)
Bye

Following last story , im a patient now.

Psychology. Hope this will helps me. 

But, is just a simply chat with the doc.

Today. 28/1/14 I went for blood test this morning.

Hope its all perfect :)

In others hand, Some word always keep in my mind until nowadays.

-

Its between me and my cousin.

Cousin: If one day, U driving a car, who is the one to control the car?

Me: ME.

Cousin: If suddenly hv a dog in front of ur car, who is the one to press the break?

Me: ME.

Cousin: If u scare of something else, who is the one to save ourselves?

Me: ME.

Cousin:  yeah, is Yourself. We have to save ourselves first , then others only can helps us. Is nothing could done without ourselves. 

-

Woah! I definitely like awake at the moment. Is really ME. 

I realize that is all becos of ourselves. It should be.

Our life is handle by our own hand. 

What we think.

What we do.

What we act.

What we share.

What we care.

What we say.

and also

What I scare.

Is really is my own problem. 

I think is a really good timing to let me grow up and think and learn more about myself.

All its begin with my college, when im leaving home, leaving my family, leaving my bed.

Is a lesson to learn.

Is true. and real.

Now onward, I knew to control my mind and that feeling. Im a healthy person.

So, what for i scare?

I should learn all this mission.

But, still mission incomplete yet.

HAHA.

This world is still many beautiful thing and place waiting me to go!!!

Yeahh! I should stay this way.

Positive. Myself.

I cant say my life is perfect . 

Still have some sad, angry, bad mood, exited, afraid , panic, emo, and many.

Sometimes, Once i push a person away, means that could get hurt lesser.
Lesser things, lesser problem, lesser answer, lesser question and lesser worry.
Live with the easy way.
Less worries its better to me.
:)


So, Chinese new year is coming soon!
Will be back soon then!

#

Story started by This Feeling.

"this feeling" have mean a thing happen to me at one night. Its because all of the night, 

I don't know why , This feeling cames. 

The first day before my first semester final exam night, after dinner as usual , 

i study for tmr 1st exam is english. then suddenly. 

My heart beat fast and faster, im scare and cant do anything. Like cant breath.

My brain are suck and getting hot and random.

I don't know what happen and im staying at hostel (gk), with alicia , my housemate.

Im getting panic and scare. when up and called alicia. Tell her what happen to me.

Its a strage feeling i ever have before.

Done. Finally i know is stress.

so, now, i still have the feeling inside my heart. will came when i think so much of things or nonsense. Its make me scare and tired about it. But, i dun wanna to visit psychological things.

I still not sure what happen to me. So, i forget about it.

UNTIL NOW!

Yesterday , I headache , and goes to sleep.Suddenly the feeling cames again!

Im holiday now gosh! Semester 2 holidays! Gonna cny soon.

I dint have stress i think. But once i think i wanna start semester 3 soon, Its beat again!

God, can u heard what i say on yesterday night?

i really wish that this feeling will gone out from my life. Its make me suffer and hard. 

have a sec, im thinking give up my life. 

but, 

a people could listen to me,

a people could care about me more then herself,

a people could be the first i wanna find,

a people could be always by my side,

a people who are my second mother , 

she's make me so moving bout it. 

at midnight, when i feel have a warm hand touching my forehead ,

i turn around. Is her. 

she sit beside my bed, and touching my forehead and my hair.

I straight cry at the moments.

the room is dark, so that she dint saw my tears.

I really cry in deep of my hearts. 

I feel so warm and blessed. 

beside, I worry about something again.

What if she gone?

What if she leave me alone?

What if she's not here anymore?

What if she sick?

What if she leave me one days?

i cry more hard and harder.

She's just like my angel. I cant live without her.

Why this world is not perfect as i want?
Many question. Many answer. Many reason. Many problem.

My second mom name carmen.

btw, second mom not mean step mother.

I will keep on write my blog as my dairy. Have reader or not, i will write it too :)
Im back my blogg!
I will keep on try hard to beat the feeling away!
ADD OIL!

-Time is not control by us , but chance is control by us .-

LONG TIME NO SEEEEE!!!!
WOAH~~!
SORRY for all reader :)
I'm just done and fight with SPM!!!
DONE IT !
HALF OF my life!
feel happy?feel sad? feel like holiday?
No...
is CONFUSED!
OH MY~~~
Life~
I just cant understand sometime...
Just one question on my mind...
WHT COURSE DID I WANNA CHOOSE?!

now i just lives like a PIG in home...

=.=''
Hospitality? Acca? Design?

SIGN~~~
But, i will go intake in APR 2013 :)
so... still have some time to think and replace all question...
Take it easy amanda!
U can do it!
Now on, Wanna find a part time to do and have some tuition to improve my english :)
Now i wanna do is pack my bag and mood to have a great travel :)
Tmr 13/12/12
Going Genting with fren :)
Hope it is a good trip to me , hope is nothing bad happen to me ;D
haizzz!!!!
SCARE ><!
cos dunno y theyt all wanna 11ppl Sleep in ONE ROOM!
OMG! cant imagine  >.<''
Fine la :)
Let it easy xD
Try to get a LAST great trip wif SPM's fren :)
and my travel is coming xD
Legoland and Kitty land and Singapora :)

then is Christmas is here xDD!
Yuhorrrr~
ILY!


Then coming is CNY 2013!
woah :)
My age flow fast as river now xD
18 's 2013 :)
Study college will so rush d xD
Cant wait for the time when i End my college..LoL
feel exiting now ! awww!
But now! I wanna do is , Keep Fit!
sign.... Feel sad to my body weight now T^T
Fatty!
but, i will let it easy too :)
OKAY ~
when i'm free , sure upload again yea xD
GTG. bye!
Packing bag :]

#Be your everything <3

T^T
can pls dun say it again!!!
we know it!!! =.=
but... my study mood haven come again! GOD!
=[
How?!!
Gonna die!!!
The last year....
senior!
:(
SAD!

And.... i still watching 3 darma! LOL!
1st is LOVE RAIN! 
xD!! Till EP 15 :)

2nd is 辉舞长安 !