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Hi. Myself
Friday, January 17, 2014 | 11:34 PM | 0 comments
Is a really long time i dint open up my blog.(blow off al the dust) Time flow, Things changed. All this years ,days,weeks,hours,mins, sec just flow like happen yesterday. By now, Im a College students study in Taruc. Cool right? I dont ever think or even dream i get into this uni. Like someone else say, we don't know what will happen tmr. Since like i really don't know i have "This feeling" started in my life.
Story started by This Feeling.
"this feeling" have mean a thing happen to me at one night. Its because all of the night,
I don't know why , This feeling cames.
The first day before my first semester final exam night, after dinner as usual ,
i study for tmr 1st exam is english. then suddenly.
My heart beat fast and faster, im scare and cant do anything. Like cant breath.
My brain are suck and getting hot and random.
I don't know what happen and im staying at hostel (gk), with alicia , my housemate.
Im getting panic and scare. when up and called alicia. Tell her what happen to me.
Its a strage feeling i ever have before.
Done. Finally i know is stress.
so, now, i still have the feeling inside my heart. will came when i think so much of things or nonsense. Its make me scare and tired about it. But, i dun wanna to visit psychological things.
I still not sure what happen to me. So, i forget about it.
UNTIL NOW!
Yesterday , I headache , and goes to sleep.Suddenly the feeling cames again!
Im holiday now gosh! Semester 2 holidays! Gonna cny soon.
I dint have stress i think. But once i think i wanna start semester 3 soon, Its beat again!
God, can u heard what i say on yesterday night?
i really wish that this feeling will gone out from my life. Its make me suffer and hard.
have a sec, im thinking give up my life.
but,
a people could listen to me,
a people could care about me more then herself,
a people could be the first i wanna find,
a people could be always by my side,
a people who are my second mother ,
she's make me so moving bout it.
at midnight, when i feel have a warm hand touching my forehead ,
i turn around. Is her.
she sit beside my bed, and touching my forehead and my hair.
I straight cry at the moments.
the room is dark, so that she dint saw my tears.
I really cry in deep of my hearts.
I feel so warm and blessed.
beside, I worry about something again.
What if she gone?
What if she leave me alone?
What if she's not here anymore?
What if she sick?
What if she leave me one days?
i cry more hard and harder.
She's just like my angel. I cant live without her.
 Why this world is not perfect as i want? Many question. Many answer. Many reason. Many problem. My second mom name carmen.  btw, second mom not mean step mother. I will keep on write my blog as my dairy. Have reader or not, i will write it too :) Im back my blogg! I will keep on try hard to beat the feeling away! ADD OIL!  AMANDA.luvvss. |
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